Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
where am i from again
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
the raccoons are back...
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