i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
