some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
