so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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