hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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