i think i have herpe
just one?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
