I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
