he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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