low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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