party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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