My first STD was from a foam party
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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