is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
