Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
