I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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