im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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