ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
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Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
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Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.