He kissed a someone with a penis
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?