pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.