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There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
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