I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
