Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
