You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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