I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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