butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You may now shotgun with the bride
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
