Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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