just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
