My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
