Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
