I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
