If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Green mimosas i think yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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