i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
