If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
