literally had 100 drinks last night.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize