Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
