my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
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i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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