We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
