I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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