Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
