I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
