thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
