What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
His nipple licking is glorious
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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