no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
