that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize