where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
