physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
