What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
God gave him joint rollers for hands
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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