U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
