you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Randomize
