i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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