I look better un-naked...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
