Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
