so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
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