He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
