I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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