She's JV to your varsity
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
