just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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