I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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