This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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