i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
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I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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