She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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