So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
