happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
