mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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