Betty ford says i'm here all night
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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