I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm jealous of your bromance
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
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You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
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A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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