Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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